No country for a healthy debate?

I emerged from travel followed by a presentation to come across this 2 week old article referred to by so many of people on my FB feed, that I knew it was going to be like, you know, controversial without really having any meat on it.

And so it is.

I am sure you have all read the article and have varied opinions on it. ( I think the writer started out with an interesting point and lost out somewhere between Aishwarya Rai, mommy-blogging and goal fetish.)

But have you read the comments? Have you? Have you?

They are tiny little gems, those ether-spewn-pearls of wisdoms..

Most of them are cringingly predictable – (mostly)women admonishing the writer for daring to write about parenthood in negative light. The tone of the comments is sooooo smug and moralizing- that you are almost reminded of Nirupa Roy jokes. Needless to say, all of them ironically confirm the writer’s contentions, rightly or not.

Why are we not used to ‘listening’ and ‘accepting’ other views is beyond me. Someone finds bliss in parenting and wants to write about their kids and schools- great. Someone finds it irritating and exhausting and wants to rant – great. Shouldn’t all voices be heard and debated?

Especially those who might be saying something that has not been said frequently before?

After all, none of the commentators are debating about the inherent flaws in the article- and there are plenty. But all of them are reacting to the very premise that a woman may find parenting not as great as it is made out to be.

This is what makes our country such a terrible bore- people not only have no patience for other’s views, they also feel it is their duty to morally bulldoze someone down for daring to say something different.

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8 thoughts on “No country for a healthy debate?

  1. HOW did I miss this? That the article was an empty vessel making lots of noise came across first, and pissed me off. But also amused me because the point she might have wanted to make was lost entirely.

    You’ve stated a very valid point about our ability to listen. Live, and let live. The fetishisation of baby-making has reached a point where a life minus a child is utterly dreary, wasted. We have no room to accept a life like that, to stop and see what those childless people who are living perfectly happy lives, are up to. We have forgotten that there are other options..whether it is ones choice of spouse, having babies, lifestyle.

    As for the comments I think we women are sometimes our worst enemies. Bringing each other down like this. It would have been good for a really pissed off parent to actually take the issue of lack of content up with the newspaper rather than lash out tangentially!

    • Absolutely right. The intention of that article was, I suspect, to give voice to alternate views. But it was so silly and badly written and didactic, that it got lost.

      The comments however, my god. They almost justified her didactic tone.

      I also think the comments say a lot about culture, people’s perceptions. I have seen this trend to react indignantly on rise.

  2. I was reading through a couple of comments. Some of them are plain nasty. It’s sad. People have verbally attacked people who have agreed with the tone and point of the article. Even made personal attacks on their upbringing. shocking!

  3. Thank God you brought this up. I found the article offensive on many levels, but I’m surprised at the kind of comments posted. It’s one thing to find problems with the content but I’m surprised at how personally people are taking it. And she is a mother herself so it’s like saying that mothers do not have the right to express their slightly negative feelings about motherhood. This is almost dictatorial.

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