I woke up at 4 am today with a jumble of thoughts in my head. Couldn’t go to sleep despite of focusing on breathing and trying to clear my head.
So woke up and sat in the balcony smoking.
And there was a chant going at the back of my mind. I want to be happy. I am happy. I want to be happy. I am happy.
More than anything else in the world, this morning I truly feel like jumping up the next step in my life. No rational and mature understanding this. Just plain simple realisation that I am over self-pity, sadness and worries.
And although I hope it sustains for long-term and doesn’t fizzle out within a few days that I am prone to, I don’t remember myself so upbeat and gung-ho in a long long time.