I love you..

Yesterday, a new line joined my chant of I AM HAPPY I WANT TO BE HAPPY

It was I LOVE YOU

As I woke up yesterday, I realised that it was I who had to look after me, care for me, love me, accept me.

And I caressed my cheek and however corny it sounds, told myself, I LOVE YOU DON’T WORRY I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU..

Every now and then I have had a tendency to overthink, overanalyses and let vague worries eclipse my otherwise peaceful life. Often I resist the choices I have made on my own and end up wallowing in self-pity and self-indulgence.

Few days ago I painfully became aware of this bad habit I have gotten myself into. Because the sadness wouldn’t go and it reminded me of those horrible few months I had dragged myself through 3 years ago, totally immersed in sadness of my own making.

When at home, the family cushions many of these habits. Husband and dog provided me with the emotional core and stability. This is a brand new realisation, btw.

But when you are on your own, these nasty habits can come and bite you in the ass.

So when this line came to me ( I am sounding like a nutcase on one of those religious channels na?), I suddenly realised how horrible I tend to be to myself. Like being cruel to an animal or kids.

I have decided above all, that I have to be nice to myself. I am not going to blame/ criticise/ analyse/ pressurize self ever again.

I am sure I will slip into self-blame on and off, since ‘introspection’ was something I was terribly proud of all my life.

But I am trying to work hard not to. I am imagining myself as the dog from now on. And treat myself exactly how I behave with him.

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6 thoughts on “I love you..

  1. Yep yep. Makes sense. I went to see Ashu today and she told about the importance of activating the right hemisphere of the brain which is responsible for being in the present moment and happiness. I am so going to read up about that and strive for happiness and calm. It certainly doesn’t come easy for some people.

    • Yes, it is difficult to change a habit. Because we are used to it and we don’t want to change, no matter how good it is for you. Sort of like addiction na?

      However, I have decided to be very active about it and make a point of changing it. No excuses. This is going to be my number one priority now.

  2. Wow! Treating yourself like you do the dog would be brilliant. I totally think we should all try and make it a point to love ourselves a little more. I can forgive other people, but I am extremely harsh to myself. I genuinely believe that I am not a nice person and that’s the root cause of my anxiety and almost eternal unhappiness.

    I wouldnt mind telling myself that I am not all that bad. Most of the times I doubt if I am deserving of what I have and then dwell upon it, over analyze it and fall into a pit of worry.

    So kudos to loving yourself and telling yourself that.

    • It is one thing to realise it and another to make it into a habit though. I plan to change my thinking habits from self questioning to self accepting. And to put my happiness as the topmost priority. Not my mind but my happiness.

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